Why You Should Stay Away From Anxiety Disorder Forums

I decided recently to visit a few anxiety disorder forums and what I found saddened, disappointed and even shocked me. What I read was mostly people saying how great it is to find other people who understand what they're going through and discussions about what meds they're taking to dull their symptoms.

I didn't see even one post from someone talking about what they're doing or have done to help themselves climb out of the hell they've been living in. It seems a lot of people with anxiety disorders actually would rather wallow in self-pity and cry on each others shoulders than take any kind of positive action to alleviate their problems.

That's Depressing!

I suppose this is evidence to support the theory that anxiety causes depression, as opposed to the way physicians see it, that the two conditions go hand in hand or the cause and effect is the other way around. Years ago, when I first sought help, my doctor explained that people who have depression often also have anxiety disorder and that's why they prescribe antidepressants for anxiety. Like the depression leads to anxiety. And he was a very caring and knowledgeable doctor.

If you're living a life limited by your anxiety disorders, whether panic disorder, agoraphobia, OCD or any other disorder, life is undoubtedly depressing. If you're afraid to go somewhere because you might have a panic attack, if you're afraid to drive to work for fear of becoming anxious, if you can't even take your kids to the park, you're going to be depressed.

How Does This Tie In To The Forum Posts?

Interestingly, a lot of depressed people seem to LIKE being depressed. It has become their comfort zone, it's all they know. And as long as they keep trading their sob stories, it will continue to be all they know.

In my mini-course I recommend to anxiety sufferers that they stay away from these forums because the more time and energy you spend reading about other people's problems, the more time and energy you will put into thinking about your own anxiety issues. And if you know anything at all about the Law of Attraction, you know that what you focus on is what you'll get. Besides, for most of us who have or have had anxiety disorder, focusing on our anxiety problems and symptoms CAUSES our anxiety problems.
  
You Have A Lot Of Company Outside The Forums

Look, there are plenty of people who have or have had anxiety disorder and we ALL understand how you feel; you don't need to go to the forums looking for someone to feel sorry for you. I, for one, understand completely. But I don't want to talk about your problems, I want to talk about a solution and help you rid your life of anxiety disorder and the depression it causes.

And I'd really like to get on some anxiety forums and say: "Hey! I've got a solution for you, click here to read about what helped me." But I have yet to find one forum whose moderators will allow posting a link to something that will help you. I wonder why THAT is? Maybe they're afraid they'll lose some members if you were to find a cure for your misery?

In my 12 Step Program we like to say "Let's not focus on the problem, let's focus on the solution." Which would you rather focus on?

Owen
owen@helpwithanxietydisorder.com

Obsessive Compulsive Anxiety Disorder or Innocent Habit?

I have a quick quiz for you, see if you can quickly answer these questions:

1. Which shoe do you put on first?
2. Which leg do you put in your pants first?
3. Which side of the bed do you sleep on (doesn't count if you share the bed)?

If you answered these questions, then I have a 4th one for you: Why? Think about that one for a few seconds and see if you have an answer.

Innocent Habits or OCD?

If you have any form of anxiety disorder, I know you were able to answer the first three but the 4th might have been a little harder. If your answer to that last one was "It's a habit" that's okay, because we're all creatures of habit, but if when you think more about it your answer is really "Because I have to" you need to start making some changes.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - OCD - is a common trait (to varying degrees) in people with anxiety disorders and if you have it, these little "habits" we have become difficult to break or change. In fact, a good way to find out if your habits are actually OCD behavior, is to just try to not follow a habitual pattern and see how hard it is. Note how much you have to concentrate or distract yourself in order to do something differently.

Don't get me wrong, there are some good habits, habits that make life simpler and more organized. For example, I'm one of many who sort the bills in my wallet and have them turned the same direction. This makes it easier to pull out the right amount of money to pay for something. But if I were to TRY to do it differently just for the heck of it, I'd find myself in disharmony, and I'd call that "borderline OCD".

Comfort Zone and OCD

When we follow obsessive and compulsive patterns, the behavior becomes our comfort zone. And as long as we stay in that zone, we're comfortable and secure. Or so we think: the reality is, what we're doing is reinforcing our anxiety disorder by staying in that comfortable place. It's very much like a phobia, which can be simply defined as avoidance of something we think is going to make us anxious. And if we constantly reinforce the comfort zone, it WILL make us anxious to step outside of it.

In order to begin to break free of our anxiety issues, we need to break out of our comfort zones. Changing a few of our little OCD-like habits is a great place to start, since they're not really important in the first place. Jon Mercer, creator of the anxiety treatment video program I like, has an exercise in his videos asking you to write a list of things we do out of habit and then pick a few and change them - do something differently. A few each day - simple things like shop at a different grocery or sleep on the other side of the bed. If you usually eat certain kinds of food, change it up and try something different. You get the drift.

I'd have to say Jon's advice is golden. Start small and work your way up to the major limitations you're imposing on yourself. Get out of that little comfort zone and experience some freedom. It's not a bad feeling at all!

Read more on this subject: Obsessive Compulsive Anxiety Disorder 

To your recovery,

Owen